One of the most popular posts I've ever written was on the subject of being ready to get pregnant again. I was really surprised that this struck a chord with so many people, although I don't know why I was surprised. I guess it is a common thing that a lot of families think about.
Then I made a discovery that I was reluctant to share. I told a few people that I really trusted, but now I want to tell you because I feel like God was showing me that He is in control, no matter what the physical circumstances are.
Travis and I had been going back and forth about when to have another child, and then all of a sudden it turned into a conversation of whether to have another child at all. I think God was teaching me just to trust Him, and allow Him to work out things in my heart and Travis' heart individually. He doesn't always give us spiritual epiphanies at the same time. But when Travis did share with me that he wanted to trust God completely in this area of our lives, something interesting happened. I had a dream that night that I looked up the medication Travis takes for his Ulcerative Colitis, and the results were not good. The next day I woke up and looked up his meds in relation to fertility, and the results were pretty awful. I found that a lot of men that were on this medication could not conceive and that the only way to counter the effects of the medicine was to go off of it for three months, which is NOT an option for Trav. If he misses one pill during a day (he takes 9 total per day) he could have problems.
Naturally I was confused. I felt like God had finally brought Travis and I into one accord on the subject, and now this news came. Couldn't it have been the other way around? I stared out the window crying out to the Lord (and physically crying) one afternoon while the girls were taking a nap and Travis was studying. On top of everything else going on in my life at that moment, I felt so defeated and abandoned. But I knew that God would work it out in His way, even if he took the desire for another child out of my heart.
With all that in mind, we decided not to actively try to get pregnant. Fast forward a few weeks later and I started getting really nauseated and tired, laying in bed all day, and then I noticed my monthly visitor was delayed. But I didn't want to believe there was a possibility I was pregnant, just in case. Then last week I went to the doctor and got to see my little bean and hear it's heart beat.
I have seen God do many miracles in my life. I have seen people healed, I have seen food multiplied right in front of my eyes, and I have witnessed amazing transformations in peoples' hearts. I have read amazing things that God did in the bible for different people and different occasions. But you know, sometimes the miracles that encourage me the most are the personal ones. And I really feel like God did a work in my life through this whole ordeal. I know I'm not that pregnant yet and I still have a long way to go, but I'm hopeful that however things work out, God will use this as a constant reminder in my life of His love for me.
And I know He wants to work His personal miracles for you too, so be on the lookout!!
Then I made a discovery that I was reluctant to share. I told a few people that I really trusted, but now I want to tell you because I feel like God was showing me that He is in control, no matter what the physical circumstances are.
Travis and I had been going back and forth about when to have another child, and then all of a sudden it turned into a conversation of whether to have another child at all. I think God was teaching me just to trust Him, and allow Him to work out things in my heart and Travis' heart individually. He doesn't always give us spiritual epiphanies at the same time. But when Travis did share with me that he wanted to trust God completely in this area of our lives, something interesting happened. I had a dream that night that I looked up the medication Travis takes for his Ulcerative Colitis, and the results were not good. The next day I woke up and looked up his meds in relation to fertility, and the results were pretty awful. I found that a lot of men that were on this medication could not conceive and that the only way to counter the effects of the medicine was to go off of it for three months, which is NOT an option for Trav. If he misses one pill during a day (he takes 9 total per day) he could have problems.
Naturally I was confused. I felt like God had finally brought Travis and I into one accord on the subject, and now this news came. Couldn't it have been the other way around? I stared out the window crying out to the Lord (and physically crying) one afternoon while the girls were taking a nap and Travis was studying. On top of everything else going on in my life at that moment, I felt so defeated and abandoned. But I knew that God would work it out in His way, even if he took the desire for another child out of my heart.
With all that in mind, we decided not to actively try to get pregnant. Fast forward a few weeks later and I started getting really nauseated and tired, laying in bed all day, and then I noticed my monthly visitor was delayed. But I didn't want to believe there was a possibility I was pregnant, just in case. Then last week I went to the doctor and got to see my little bean and hear it's heart beat.
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| Ksena's rendition of our new family situation, although she colored over the baby a bit, lol. |
I have seen God do many miracles in my life. I have seen people healed, I have seen food multiplied right in front of my eyes, and I have witnessed amazing transformations in peoples' hearts. I have read amazing things that God did in the bible for different people and different occasions. But you know, sometimes the miracles that encourage me the most are the personal ones. And I really feel like God did a work in my life through this whole ordeal. I know I'm not that pregnant yet and I still have a long way to go, but I'm hopeful that however things work out, God will use this as a constant reminder in my life of His love for me.
And I know He wants to work His personal miracles for you too, so be on the lookout!!
